GlitchSlapTko

Waiting for me when I got home today was mysterious little while envelope from London with no return address. With things being what they are with Roddy's recent excommunication from Britian, I figured this might be a notice from someone in the 'Ministry of Truth' serving me up notice that I wasn't welcome in Europe. Yeah, either that or a bomb. Luck would have it that it was neither! Instead, I was happy to find a copy of SUMMERISLE by Momus and Anne Laplantine (who has a French-Canadian sounding name according to Audrey). Thanks, Nick! I begin my review of the album this weekend, which will be published in the next issue of OK FRED.

Today's blog entry is sponsored by the number 9.



9 X 1 = 9
9 X 2 = 18, 1 + 8 = 9
9 X 3 = 27, 2 + 7 = 9
9 X 4 = 36, 3 + 6 = 9
9 X 5 = 45, 4 + 5 = 9
9 X 6 = 54, 5 + 4 = 9
9 X 7 = 63, 6 + 3 = 9
9 X 8 = 72, 7 + 2 = 9
9 X 9 = 81, 8 + 1 = 9
9 X 10 = 99. 9 + 9 = 18, 1 + 8 = 9
9 X 11 = 108, 1 + 0 + 8 = 9

...and so on, ad infinitum

Meeting with the ever-charming Audrey -- a member of OK FRED's secret inner circle -- today at BAPE cafe in Minami Aoyama. Depending on your point of view, this cafe is either the coolest place in TKO or the weakest; You know who you are, and so do I for that matter.

Anyway, I hadn't seen her for a while, not since we were having drinks with 1/2 of Discom, Tujiko, OK FREDders, and a host of others: models, pimps, etc., etc. Since then, she's hopped over to San Fran to do some interview for the mag, and seems as busy as ever, since she's working hard to make the upcoming issue of OK FRED the best ever...and I'm sure she'll succeed! As you all know by now, the focus is on 'Raptop' (yes, another word that I'm officially coining here) or that particular confluence of the Rap and the Laptop worlds.



So speaking of a differernt kind of 'Raptopper', I'm planning to run into Audrey again this weekend at the 'rapuoke' ('laptop orchestra') event in Ryogoku, kindly hosted by Mr. P., that guy who isn't from Quebec. It looks like this time it was billed in REALTOKYO, so actually I'm kind of, ummm...apprehensive...as to who'll show up to 'jam' Oh, and is there anyone out there who can explain to me why it is that laptoppers seem to have some kind of carte blanche when it comes to 'jam sessions'? We all know that 'jam band/session' is a four letter word in America, or at least the cool part of it!



Well, I guess I'll just have to keep my trusty Zippo handy, and be prepared to shout out drunken requests, starting with 'Freebird' or something of that ilk.

Well, as if you didn't know...I'm doing this big, 'Let's fuckin' interview all of my kids' kind of project, and you know that one of them has got to be SNOW, so anyway, this is an unforgiveable teaser, but anyway, here are the questions that I asked him...(his answers are pending, as are TUJIKO --fuckin'-- NORIKO's...but since she was a good drinking friend last time she and I were downin' 'umeshu' by the glass in TKO, all is forgiven regarding her failure to actually reply to my outstanding interview...(but you still gotta give me what you know you owe me...)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) and I'M WAITIN' FOR HIS ANSWERS...SO...OK...PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! check back here for jean-sebastian's answers sometime REAL soon!
------------------

How far back do Jean and Japan go? Can you take us back to the first encounter, through the details of the courtship and recount the consumation of the relationship?

Does jeansnow.net have a credenda, agenda, manifesto, whatever? If it does, please expound on it's nature. If it doesn't, why doesn't it?

Who would you list as your role models, cyber or otherwise?

How many unique hits does your webpage average a day? What was the deal with your recent problems about exceeding your bandwidth recently? What steps have you taken/will you take to solve this problem?

If you could have tea and cakes with any personage (past, present, or future; historcial or fictitious) who would it be and why? What kind of things would you like to talk about with them?

Talk to me about future plans, personal, media-based, or otherwise. Are you planning to be in Japan for the duration? What about this talk I've heard about your getting a record label together?

What are you listening to, reading, watching these days?

OK, let's set the record straight: You're mother tongue is French, but you also speak fluent English, but you're not one of them damn Quebeckers, and you're also not from France. So what was it again that you are?

Compare living in Japan to living in China. What keeps you in Japan? What keeps you going back to China for more? What keep you from going back to Canada more often?

Talk to me about your job.

If you got a legit email from 'Cyber Cartel X' inviting you to be the first person to on earth to get exclusive rights to use their newly perfected, wireless, painless, 24/7 streaming, CD quality audio, DVD quality video, taste, smell, brain-waves, karma, be all, end all, Swiss-Army-Knife-of-an-implant/prothesis-thingy, for free for as long as you wanted to, would you do it? The only catch is that all of your sensory data would be streamed unedited, by unbreakable contract, on a website somewhere, for the viewing pleasure of your fellow netizens. (Naturally, you'd be famous.) Why or why not.

What's the closest brush with death that you've ever had? Give us the skinny.

What's the first really nasty thing you learned how to say in that language that they speak over here in Japan? How about that one over there in China? How did you learn it? Have you had a chance to use it yet? Did it go over well?

Talk to me about ramen, Jean. Are you a shyoyu or miso man? What's your favorite place that you've been to in Tokyo? Any ramen pet-peeves? What's the deal with this, 'I don't like the fish flava?' thing that I've heard you goin' on about? Any plans to really get around to doing that ramen crit. website in English?

So how can we know for certian that your wife Yuko really ISN'T a 'kunoichi' or something deadly like that, and that she won't be appearing in Kill Bill Vol. 3? I mean, I was hearing her saying something about when she was a young girl, being able to disembowel herself with her keitai in the event that her chastity were threatened...

What are the pros and cons of life in Ikebukuro? What's your living situation like? Is there a Jean Snow Ikebukuro best 10? Oh, if you could live anywhere in Tokyo, where would you live?

Did you ever have a fight (I mean of the knock-down, drag-out, ilk)? Who did you fight? What was it about? Did you win? If you lost, would you ever consider a re-match?

Is there anything that you'd just like to get off of your chest? If so, please feel free to do so here.

If you took a test, and you bombed it, but you were given the following choice of three different scores at which to bomb it, which one would you choose and why? a) 50 b) 25 c) 0

Where would you go and what would you do on your dream date? Please go into detail.

BONUS QUESTION: Any advice for anyone out there planning to move to Japan?

...AT A TIME WHEN IT WASN'T REALLY COOL TO REPEAT THAT KIND OF SHIT (THERE WERE 'REPEAT' MARKS WRITTEN INTO THE SCORE AND WHATEVER...AND SOMEONE ASKED HIM WHY HE WAS REPEATING HIS FIRST MOVEMENT STILL, WHEN NO ONE ELSE WAS REALLY DOING THAT KIND OF THING ANY MORE, AND HE WAS LIKE, YO! CUZ' YOU WEREN'T REALLY LISTENING THE FIRST TIME...........................................................

[Five Points, Denver. A bum pushes a cart full of his belongings past Denver Meat Packing, a rundown warehouse. Sirens, gunshots, and a woman's screams are heard.]

Jimmy: Excuse me, sir. [the bum stops, startled] we're looking for a group of people called the Crips.

Bum: You are?

Jimmy: Do you know where they meet? We've already tried the rec center and the library.

Bum: The Crips hang out at that old warehouse down there, [points to the building he just passed] but ...nobody goes in there.

Jimmy: [moves forward] Oh, it's okay. We're Crips ourselves. Come on, Tim-Tim.

Timmy: Timmmih! [follows]

[Denver Meat Packing, inside. The music is thumping, there's gambling and general conversation going on. Jimmy and Timmy walks in]



Jimmy: Well hello everyone. [music abruptly stops] I'm Jim Swanson, and this is my friend Timmy.

Timmy: Timmmih! [awkward silence, then softly] Tih... ti-timmih.

Jimmy: [to a friend at left, as he points to the duo] Well, let us tell you a little bit about ourselves. Timmy and I are both true Crips, born and raised. We're the only Crips in South Park, where we live, and we would love to join your fa-fa-fabtasitc Denver chapter.

Large Crip: Is they for real, manh?

Jimmy: We just have one question before we join your c-club. Do you think it's better to be born a Crip, or to become a Crip later by accident?

Braided Crip: The only Crips is born Crips, dawg.

Tall Crip: Yeah, you can't become a Crip by accident, fool!

Jimmy: I agree. I mean, it's like [enunciates] "come on"! Why do these people who become crippled later in life think they're such great pot-potatuhs?

Timmy: Timmih! [silence]

Jimmy: Well, we're glad you see it our way, fellas. So can we join your g... group?

Buff Crip: All right, you wanna thug with the Five Point Crips? Bitches, all you gotta do is pop some punk-ass Bloods.

Jimmy: Well, sure. Tim and I would love to pop some punk-ass Bloods. We're terrific at it.

Timmy: Timmih?

Jimmy: [turns and answers softly] I don't know, Timmy, just play along.

Timmy: Uh-tu-Timmih!

Buff Crip: So you sayin' yuh down?

Jimmy: Down like a clown, Charlie Br... Down like a clown, Charlie B-broooowww... Down like a clown, Charlie Browh... Bro-uh-own. Down like a clown, Charlie Br-Brown. [music starts up again, and Timmy and Jimmy leave. As they walk down the street a rap song plays]

Jimmy: Say Timmy, did you notice that all the crippled people in that club are negros?

Timmy: Timmih!

Jimmy: That's an amm-mmazing coincidence. I mean, there's not one crippled colored person in South Park. [as they walk, a police car rolls up and the passenger-side officer calls out]

Officer: Hey you kids.

Jimmy: [stops and looks] Well hello, officers.

Officer: What the hell do you think you're doin'?

Jimmy: We're goin' to pop some punk-ass Bloods.

Timmy: Timmih! [the officers simply look at each other and drive off.]

Jimmy: [sees something] Look, Timmy. There's a convenience store. ["Ribs N Gass." A lot of gang members are milling around in front of the store] That must be what the fellas meant by "pop some punk-ass Bloods." They want us to get them some soda pop and treats. [the gang members notice them coming and stop to look. They cross the street] Let's buy them ginger ale and marshmallows. Then they'll let us in the club for sure.

Timmy: Oh, Timmih. [a truck appears in the distance and comes up fast.]

Driver: [noticing almost too late] Oh shit! [swerves to avoid the duo and slams into the convenience store they were trying to reach. The store and truck go up in a ball of flames while Jimmy and Timmy stop in their tracks]

Jimmy: Suh, suh, suh, suh, Sssunday driver!

[back at Denver Meat Packing, night. Jimmy and Timmy are back at the warehouse]

Buff Crip: Yo yo, listen up y'all! Let me tell you about my little Gs, Roller and 4 Legs here. They just smoked thirteen Bloods in one night!

Crip 1: One night?

Crip 2: You're kiddin'? You're kiddin'? One night?

Buff Crip: That ain't never been done before!

58 Crip: And they got us marshmallows and ginger ale.

Crips: [chattering] Uh huh. Cool. He's right.

Jimmy: So does that mean we can join the c-c...club?

Buff Crip: You're not just in, you're the baddest mofo Crips in town! Cipac! [a Crip steps forward] Turn up the beat so we can celebrate our new Gs Five-Points style!

Cipac: All right. [hobbles off]

Jimmy: Wow, these guys really are crippled. [the music starts up and the Crips start dancing] Timmy, I have a feeling that this is the start of something b-b-b-b...b-b-brilliant.

Timmy: Timmih!

OK, OK...my kid here
is working pretty hard! Peep his shit and give him what he needs if you feel him worthy...I DO!!!

(image culled from Peter Kuper's portfolio)
Now reading:
Selected Essays and Notebooks, Albert Camus
Hiroshima, John Hersey

It looks like Don Quixote -- or just 'donki' in Japanese, Japan's most successful, and just plain cool, discount retailer (I'll brook no comparisons to WalMart!) -- will be opening a shop in the Ginza soon, a place more or less to Tokyo what 'Rodeo Drive' is to LA.

Since opening up a store in the Ginza means going toe-to-toe with some super-elite brands: Armani, Gucci, Christian Dior, Coco Chanel, Ralph Lauren, Valentino, etc., etc. 'donki' has decided to really change the way they do business, at least at this one store. It appears that they'll be stocking some products from these brands in a corner of the store, as well as changing their philosophy on how they stock the store in general, leaning towards the demographic that already frequents that part of Tokyo. Hummm...

Shrek

Bob Sapp

DIGIKI says some shit about me here...Yeah, that's right, bitch! We have our own little world goin' on between WEST PARIS and (SOUTH) CENTRAL NAKAME....Look, just go ahead and pre-order OK FRED #4, cuz' that's where it'll all fuckin' go down...

Yoshinori Kobayashi, Japanese author of several best sellers, offers this strategic advice to America regarding its ongoing WAR EFFORT: "If America has so much confidence in its culture, why not play its strongest culture card against the enemy? Why not install large screens in the mountains of Afghanistan and project hard-core pornography twenty-four hours a day? Why not fight terrorism with erotism?"

He believes that Japanese must become more arrogant in order to recover their identity.

Hummm...

Want more? Get the full-monty here.

>

Also, while we are on the subject, be sure and check out Japan's original 'eroterrorist' the one, the only, 'Inrin of JOYTOY' the AV star cum songstress...

...is THE shiny new label from LA. Tres cool! How cool you say? Well, after you peep their shit, you'll wind up with insomnia, laying there in your bed, watching the sun come up, wishing YOU had been first kid on your block to link to them! Well, sorry, but SHOTGUN!!! You can just ride in the back...

[image copyright Jeana Sohn all rights reserved]

[open comment to nick, but useful for folks who come here also, so that's why i'm posting]
---------------
nick,

one final tid-bit about the yahoo! japan review of your song...
today i was poking around on midori's weblog

http://www009.upp.so-net.ne.jp/midori_web/

and i saw her making the following comment (in japanese):

"[yahoo! says that] average listeners might be left scratching their heads. i guess that makes me an average listener, because i didn't get it either!"

but the reason that midori doesn't get it is because the yahoo! japan folks didn't really get it (i.e. your using the Frankenstein monster as the classic metaphor for AMALGAMATION) themselves...a quick look at your original explanation is in order (from your previous blog entry):

"This song runs together Ken Shimura's Bakatono and Henna Ojiisan roles and mixes the resulting Frankenstein's monster with the poet W.B. Yeats, who believed potency and creativity were closely linked and, in old age, had a Steinach operation to revitalize his failing virility."

but [according to my translation, in which i let the mistake of the writer slide, translating it just as he penned it] the yahoo! folks say the following on their review of the song:

"But that's just where Momus throws us a curveball; by also offering the explanation that the song, "mixes Shimura Ken, Frankenstein, and W.B. Yeats" average listeners are bound to be left scratching their heads."

so this is a classic case of LOST IN TRANSLATION, and that's too bad, since you'd figure that the person at yahoo! japan should be more on the ball.

but anyway, i'm just bothering with these apologetics because i don't wan't midori to loose any sleep! she's a bright kid!

good night,

robert

Oh, forgot to mention that I hit two museums in Kawasaki the other day with an acquaintance.


1.Taro Okamoto (peace be upon him) Museum of Art


2. Kawasaki Municipal Japanese Folk Dwelling Museum

The Metamorphoses - Ovid
After the Quake - Haruki Murakami
The End of History and the Last Man - Fukuyama
The Life and Death of Yukio Mishima - Henry Scott Stokes (Yes, I know...MORE Mishima?!?)

Whoops...this posting may be in the process of being make redundant even as we speak over on click opera, but since I've gotten a few requests for a translation of the recent Yahoo! Japan review of Nick's recent ditty/hommage a Shimura Ken, I'll just go ahead and throw it up here for the time being. Sorry for the sloppy job (spelling errors, terrible punctuation, etc., etc.)!
-----
2004.04.21 (Wed.)

Momus releases a song inspired by Shimura Ken! (CD Journal)

Musicians who are so-called "connoisseurs of Japan" are legion, but there is probably no one who loves Japan as much as the Japanophile musician "Momus". Momus, who's been spending more time in Japan recently, is even on familiar terms with likes of "Mizudo Suibashi Hakase" from "Asakusa Kid" [the comedy duo]; This man's knowledge is enough to make one think that he just might know Japan better than most Japanese. I'm not exactly sure what Momus had in his head, but it looks like he's gone and written a new tune inspired by "Shimura Ken" [a member of the Drifters], and put it up on his blog!

The refrain to the song, which is titled "Corkscrew King" goes like this:

"[He's] the Corkscrew King, a monster, a kooky ol' geezer. [He's] a hard working, sexually harassing, kooky ol' geezer."

Momus, singing these lyrics himself in Japanese in the style of a traditional Japanese festival song, makes for a very "Momusian", eccentric tune. By taking the trouble to introduce on the same page the "Corkscrew King" character as "a Lord who flagrantly frolics with naked women" and the "kooky ol' geezer" as "a old perv who knows no shame" it appears that Momus was somehow really inspired by Shimura Ken's perversion; even the lyrics to the song have been tied together by ribaldry. But that's just where Momus throws us a curveball; by also offering the explanation that the song, "mixes Shimura Ken, Frankenstein, and W.B. Yeats" average listeners are bound to be left scratching their heads. Anyway, setting that one aside for a second...this is one that will be interesting for Japanese people, so definately give a listen; you should check it out too! If possible, this is something that I also want Shimura Ken to give a listen to!

[CD Journal 2004.04.21]

It looks like yet another Mega Mouth has recently washed ashore here in Japan. Get the full story here.

Biology: stout, tapering posteriorly. Head bulbous, wide and long; snout very short and broadly rounded...Mouth broad, terminal, corner extending behind eyes...



It appears that they have a weakness for being "lured [to shore?] by...sheer size"

The Mega Mouth has even been spotten recently in non-aquatic environs...

...so your little ones might not be safe! Do you know where your children are right now?

Just in case you were under the illusion that the war was over: 500 and counting...

Oh, and just to put things into perspective, a few quotes on war (better late than never)...

"When the tyrant has disposed of foreign enemies by conquest or treaty, and there is nothing more to fear from them, then he is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader."
-- Plato (427 BC-347 BC)

"The most disadvantageous peace is better than the most just war"
-- Desiderius Erasmus

"It is well that war is so terrible, else we should grow too fond of it."
-- General Robert E. Lee

"In such a world of conflict, a world of victims and executioners, it is the job of thinking people, not to be on the side of the executioners."
-- Albert Camus

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction....The chain reaction of evil -- hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."
-- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

"Either war is obsolete or men are."
-- R. Buckminster Fuller

"Peace is not the absence of war; it is a virtue; a state of mind; a disposition for benevolence; confidence; and justice."
-- Spinoza

"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations."
-- David Friedman

"You can't say civilization don't advance -- for in every war, they kill you in a new way."
-- Will Rogers

Now reading 'Mishima A Biography' by John Nathan. Mishima is the only Japanese modern writer who, along with being able to pen flowing script in antiquated styles of Japanese, actually looked pretty tasty in a fundoshi. Actually, all kidding aside, this has been very useful for putting the recent, burgeoning, and downright scary Japanese Neo-Conservative movement -- itself is a kind of rebirth of what Mishma was involved in plus some new, U.S.-style, fear motivated, ultra-nationalism sprinkled into the mix-- into a kind of early 1970s perspective. History DOES repeat itself, or at least it is teetering dangerously, just on the verge of doing so here in 2004.

You guys have all seen this by now, right? Sorry that I'm so slow. In case anyone out there is slower than me, I guess this link won't be wasted. Enjoy.

A pair of passes to the April 21 KILL BILL Vol. 2 Japanese premiere recently fell into my hands. I guess I'll just have to put on my party duds and go revel with the kids!

OK, forget everything that I've said about the virtues of the beer fed bovines of Kobe! Yes, the time of 'moo' has passed. Now dawns the era of 'bu'!

That's right kids, the mot du jour is 'cha-mi-ton' (literally meaning tea, beauty, swine in the Japanese).



This according to the obese Japanese gourmands-cum-prophets over at 'Debuya' to whom we are at least thankful for coining the word 'maiyu', which means something like 'finger lickin' good'. Oh, go ahead and overcome your shyness; use this handy word the next time you scarf down something tasty.

Incidentally, the portly pair has also done humanity the service of coming up with the very useful phrase 'on za raisu' ('on the rice' in English), a comment on the fact that you can just about eat anything as long as you eat it with rice. But going into detail about how Japanese people don't really feel like they've eaten a full mean unless they've partaken of rice, and that these two are punning of another EngRish phrase 'on za rokku' ('on the rocks') would just be getting too tangential, wouldn't it?



Anyhoo, some very special pigs are being raised in the Kagoshima (Kyushu) area. Their feed is enriched with a (Japanese) tea extract, which, according to the statistics, makes these little piggies some pretty tasty eats, all the way home...

Perhaps that's why in the official 'cha-mi-ton' logo (at the top of this post), we see that on the left, green is the color of tea; on the right, pink is the color of flesh; and in the middle, for reasons that the once politically ensconced Mr. Schrock has recently brought to light on his blog, in the middle we have beauty, it's attendant color being orange. Even in Japan, orange = good! (fire = bad) and a least that's ONE thing that we can be sure of all the wee, wee world over!

By the way, I hear that baseball caps with the logo are available, but I think that this information will probably only be taken advantage of by Brad (pictured fully mounted on 'shinkansen' below)...



or perhaps by Antonin (pictured fully mounted on Brad below).



As for myself, I've already got plans to order one, and get my, get my 'bu' on!

I don't know who you are, or why you are fucking with my friend Roddy, but if you don't stop, I'll have to insist again strongly that you cease and desist! I mean, come on! You've got the wrong guy. If you are spending 4+ hrs. giving Mr. Schrock the 3rd degree in London, you'll never catch the real 'bad guys' (who probably slipped through the boarder when you were calling Roddy a 'smart ass') in a million years! Yes, that's right, whoever you are YOU SUCK! Look, this guy has parents, God-fearing, humble people from Mississippi, that taught him right from wrong! Jesus Christ! Yo man, if I ever catch your ass in Nakameguro, or in West Paris, me and my crew are gonna' frag your fuckin' ass.

Today I attended a presentation by Ilka Theurich, who is a visiting artist at Geidai's Inter Media Department. Ilka's a thirty-something year old German-based (Berlin/Hanover) 'KlangKunst Kid' as I like to say, which means that she's of the generation of artists whose teachers were featured that book that all of you have seen with the funky red and blue swirly cover with the speaker on it.

And now that I mention it, I guess I'm a KKK too...woah, I have to find a better acronym! But since I'm more of a KlangKunst Prodigal Son, it probably doesn't matter anyway.

Anyway, her background is in experimental theatre, so the half-Fluxus, half-Butoh works -- silk & other exotic materials fasioned into a Dickies style, Planet DUNE evoking femme 'Stilsuit' with built in 'Weirding Module' speakers, Sound EFX and mixer.


This in addition to PoMo austere, ultra-minimal, sound-sculpture pieces -- ambient tupperware installations aplenty with colour co-ordinated pillows -- that she showed where right on the money.

She also knew oodles and oodles about traditional Japanese music/theatre to boot, actually more than the Japanese kids who were attending her presentation! On top of that, she had obviously been under the tutelage of the Japanese-savvy, as she was dropping 'no-input' sKooler names left and right.



Anyway, looking forward to seeing her again soon, and to finding out more about her work.

Happy 40th!

Dylan

NICEDISC added to the People section

this from brad, recently...
---------
yo. just reading your old post on lapop music ad male
vocals.

two more examples of laptop music with vox:

ellen alien:
http://www.ellenallien.de/
http://www.bpitchcontrol.de/

matthew dear:
http://www.ghostly.com/1.0/dear/

junior boys (haamazing! tectonic shift. you must hear
it.):
http://www.electrokin.com/artists/junior_boys/

also, cex.

i'll try to discover some more.

props.
brad

No dicks. A few chicks. Too many clicks. Anyway, recent emailings with HYPO have made me feel the need to re-post this again.

Has it been 10 years already?!?

Ludo added to 'People' section. Go Ludo!