GlitchSlapTko

CUT TO:

EXT. DRIVING RANGE - DAY

Ted and his friend DOM are blasting a couple buckets.

DOM
Gay? He said you were gay?

TED
He implied it.

DOM
Well you're a writer, and a lot of
writers are gay. Look at Truman Capote.

TED
Yeah, but he was successful.

DOM
Let me ask you this: When you smoke a
cigar, do you ever pretend it has balls?

Ted appears to think about this.

TED
Come on, that wouldn't make me gay.

DOM
I'm going to fix you up with my new
assistant.

TED
What's he like?

Dom LAUGHS, then watches as Ted hits a ball.

DOM
You're leaving it out. Finish your swing.
(beat)
You're going to like this one--she's half
Asian, half American.

TED
Good-looking?

DOM
I just told you, she's half Asian. half
American. They're all good looking. You
could mate Don Rickles and Yoko Ono and
they're going to have a gorgeous kid. It's
a foolproof combo.

Ted thinks about it.

TED
What's the point? Let's face it, Dom, I'm
in a slump.
(SIGHS)
Lately I've been feeling like...well...like
a loser.

DOM
Loser? You?

Ted shrugs.