Friday, May 27, 2005

"neither/nor" (redux) 

NEWS FLASH: Nick, the self-styled pom-pom entity of all things neither/nor, provides us with a tellingly "either/or" situation on his blog today. This reporter for one is glad to see Nick back in uniform and doing virtual reality backflips at the PoMo, de-powered, girly-girl pep rally that is his blog.

Here's a quick, post-pep rally, behind the scenes look in the cheergirls locker room for your eyes only:

Nick (head cheerperson, trying out a new cheer to pep up the girls): I said, A-W-E-S-O-M-E, oh, WOW!!! Blogging like totally FREAKS me out I said RIGHT ON! Nippon is #1!!! (kicks)

Risako (blogger, aspirant to the head cheerleader position): Kewl cheer, Nickie-poo! (does a split)

Nick (ogling her rear): Hey, thanks! (dangerously low low-five)

Yoko (lower down on the pecking order): Yatta! Hey, I'm hungy! Let's, like, go get some super tasty NOODLES or something! I recently read about this great place to get some ramen in Nakameguro on the webpage of this Canadian chick who's living in Tokyo.

Yuki (blogger and conscientious objector: on the team because she needs a P.E. credit to graduate Honors): Hey, did you guys hear that there was a referendum called "Same Work, Same Pay!" up this week that if passed, would raise the hourly-rate of pay for high-school kids working part time jobs at places like ramen shops and fast food stores in Tokyo to a rate that is equal to the rate that adults get paid?

Yoko: Huh?!?

Yuki: I mean, Yoko-chan, aren't you tired of don't the same work at your job at 7-11 as your adult co-workers, but getting paid on a different scale? We aren't old enough to vote, but there is a demo this weekend! Anybody up for going together with me?

Yoko (having trouble forming the words) V...o..t.e? What's that?

Nickie-poo (trying not to let this cat get too far out of her bag): That's just some icky BOY-stuff! Hey girls, did I hear someone say...noodles?!? (cheer-reflexes send fight-or-flight "spell a word together to promote group harmony" signal to brain) Gimmie an "R"! Gimmie an "A"!

Yuki (stopping the two mid-flying-kick): WAIT! Hold up, guys! You mean you are just going to try and cheer your way to a better future?

[very heavy silence]

Risako (senses trouble, panics, starts to spell again with renewed VIGOR) together with Nickie-wiki: Gimmie an "M", Gimmie an "E"! Gimmie an "N"!

Yuki: I think I'm gonna puke...

Nickie-poo, Risako and Yoko (together): What does that spell?

Yuki: That spells "MEN"...and I think this team could use some right about now...(sends an email to her friends David and R.)

Nickums (faux swoon): Ohhh...

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