Saturday, February 19, 2005

Please Kim Jong, don't hurt 'em!!! 

In case you were wondering, Kim Jong Il is SOOO cool. Just how cool is he? Well, my research shows that he as AT LEAST as cool as...wait for it...MC HAMMER.

Naturally, they are both good at pumping up the crowd. But there is a lot more than that. As you can see from this pic, DJ ILL has very, VERY fly shades just like HAMMER. You can't touch this!

Also, MC Kim's pearly-whites are all in a row. He and HAMMER have that in common too.

Yeah, and I think both of them are using the FLOWBEE to cut their hair, cuz their blades are just plain KICKIN', right? Too legit... Too legit to quit!

On top of that (and here's where things get a little freaky), the Lil'Kim puppet from TEAM AMERICA...

...looks strikingly similar like the MC HAMMER doll from back in the day.

It is also interesting to note that MC HAMMER was featured in TIME MAGAZINE about 15 years ago for, among other things, busting killer moves. This week, KJI-ONE is featured in TIME ASIA for...well...busting killing moves. In fact, he about to break em off somethin Proper!

Finally, MC HAMMER, after declaring bankruptcy in 1997, publicly announced that he would take responsibility for his past actions and from now on would use his musical talents, such as they are, to praise God and emphasize traditional family values. So in the end he became a Mjollnir incarnate by learning to say "YES" to the man upstairs.

But it looks like MIXMASTER KIM JONG IL went the other way. After also declaring bankruptcy for his country, he is seeking aid from Japan thru nuclear coercion. Now, in an effort to reform, he is at least using his political talents, such as they are, by learning to say "NO" to the devil. Hey, let's get it started! Now if we could just get him to drape himself in some bling-bling, all would be right with the world...



P.S. We got to pray just to make it today!

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