Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Mutha' of Exiles 

Reuters tells us in this article that The Statue of Liberty (SOL) will soon be open again for this first time since 9/11. Thanks a LOT, France! We are sorry that we decided to drop that 'fraternity' part of that whole 'liberty, equality, fraternity' thing. That whole 'brotherhood' deal was just way too...Enlightenment...for us, and we know that back then, the brotherhood of 'man' just ment the white, land owning, slave owning men of your OWN country only. So we just struck that word out and decided to go with our own 'Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness' shtick. I mean, we're alive at least, right? (Please check the death machine. Make sure to have fun trying out different demographics!) Well, whatever! We're just putting all our money on the fact that we can keep those pesky folks like the UN from trying to rework that whole 'fraternity' thing to include the brother/sisterhood of humanity. Look deeply into my eyes and repeat after me. 'It's your world, It's oUr world, It's U...SA's world....' G-o-o-d! Now who's my little bitch? Say my name!) I mean...we've already got Japan eating out of our hand, right? We foisted that white elephant of a SOL on them. Did we mention it was the 3rd largest of it's kind in the world? Yeah, that was part of the plan too, since we figured that was about how much actual 'liberty' we were willing to dole out to those poor saps.

Wait a min! I don't think they got the picture. I mean, they've gone and turned that lovely SOL into somekind of underground cultural icon, with this one guy with a funny name making millions in a place called...what was it? (checking notepad) Urahara...? This will never do! We'll have to remind them of the true spirit of the thing! Time for a poem!

The New Colossus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame,
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

by Emma Lazarus, New York City, 1883

Hang on...this didn't turn out too well either! Hummm...and on top of that, I'd say that ours isn't even all that cute. Oh, bother! Now we have to dust off them plans to make a REALLY BIG-ASS version of the SOL. We've code-named it RBASOL, but we can't reveal what that stands for at this time.

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